I did, however, find the time to create the "white trash trailer park scale". It's a points system based on how many redneck behaviors or traits displayed. If you're interested, read on ;) This entry is copied from my other diary.
[Rant about Open Diary follows] (I think OD is probably dying a horrible death. I've read mention of it in other diaries that I frequent and, admittedly, I was hoping they were wrong. There was a short period that I was unable to connect to OD for no apparent reason and I tried some other diary services. The interfaces were all different and some of them actually requred some serious work, but I still missed OD. Why? Because it just seems a lot more interactive. Oh, and many of the other services, no one will read your diary if you use the templates provided for you. Unless you come up with some creative look and feel, on top of your writing, no one will read it. Diary snobs I call them. I don't have to have others read my work/writing/opinions. But that was the whole purpose of creating an online diary, wasn't it? That was my reason anyway. And I've met some nice people. Interesting people and completely crazy people. And I gain something from each and every one of them.)
Now, it isn't as if I can't come up with something creative... I can write html and even a bit of javascript... but I really don't have a lot of time to work on something. I thought about asking someone to write me a template, but not everyone uses mac so there's that issue. Oh and there's also the fact that most people don't have the same taste I do, so it wouldn't be self-expression... but someone-else's-idea-of-my-self-expression.
So, OD, my old friend, I've stuck with you, even donated a bit of cash to help out. Like any good friend. I click on ads occasionally. I try to be a good friend, but it seems that no matter what I do, it's slipping away.
I've read about "blogger" and even have an account there. I wish I had more time to play with it. I wish I had more time to even start my own website. I've been wanting to do that for years and years! But to no avail. I've got all the ideas but without the software or the time, it's not happening.
This leads me to another line of thought about old friends.
I went to dinner with my old friend John on Thursday. How are we friends? Well, my ex-husband (Jay) is now married to this guy's ex-wife (Lynn). We have a common experience rooted in suffering.
In some ways it's a wonderful thing to not have to explain myself to him. It's a good friendship to have. I am concerned for him in some ways though. While I was able to put my head back together and reconstruct my life and make it better for myself than it's ever been... I still see so much pain in John's eyes.
John is forced to deal with his ex-wife and my ex-husband on a regular basis because of his children. I don't have this burden. I suppose this is why it was easier for me. The pain is still quite real for him. I apologized for not being very supportive of him. I explained that it was not possible for me to be his support when I was in so much pain. I had to heal or risk losing myself for good. He was understanding, but he still had that sorrowful look in his eyes... as if he really missed having me to talk to. Which I'm sure in some ways he did miss me. But I was only an email away. He also knew my phone number, and I don't believe his fingers were ever broken at any time.
Funny enough, I actually considered at one point, that he and I should have a relationship... that he would be the only one who would ever know exactly what I went through. Exactly understanding all the pain and suffering.
I decided against it when I realized that I would still have to be involved in that former life. I would have to have a relationship with his children. Children that I love, but the children love my ex. I would have to hear them talk about him like he was the greatest thing since sliced bread and not say anything to the contrary. This wasn't something that I could do at that point. Nor is it something I can do at this point either.
I am not bitter nor am I still holding onto the illusion that he and I will be together or that we still have a relationship. God knows even if I could have it all back, there's no way!!! Not just NO WAY but NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!
I am glad that I don't have him in my life anymore. I am happy for him if Lynn is who he wants to spend his days with and I'm glad that they're happy together. But I don't want to hear about them. I don't want to have anything to do with them.
I may be a snobby priss but I think they're trash. And I do mean they're trashy people. Proper white trash.
Why do I say this? Well let's count the number of trash points on the trashishess scale, shall we?
- there are holes in their walls that go unrepaired...
(they get 1 point for each hole... I believe there are 4) they have about 20 cats, several dogs, so their home is never really clean, (I love animals but this is excessive and out of control. 10 trash points)
and they smoke like chimneys....
(smoking is bad for you, but that's not why I bring this up... they smoke so much their walls are yellowing... around the holes... 10 trash points)
oh and they only think they're educated....
(2 trash points)
There is no way they've done all the things they claim to
(Another 2 trash points...I should add 5 trash points for not knowing what's a lie anymore but I'll give them a break)
Nor can anyone know everything... as they claim to.
(This behavior is way annoying... they get 10 trash points because that's irritating)
Oh and they lie
(another 10 trash points)
they have stolen
(1 point for everything I know they've stolen and that would be 12,000 trash points), they've cheated (this is 2 trash points).
All of those are trashy behaviors. I lost count of points but let's just say it's flippin' high!!!
Peace Love and if the porch falls and kills more than 3 dogs... you might be a redneck!
Okay okay you can call me judgemental if you want, but that's the way I see them.
