For a while now I've been silent, as I didn't really want to talk about the stupid crap tht was happening because there's really nothing all that interesting to say. Well the thing is, I've been silent for too long now. I'm tired of not talking because I'm embarrassed to blather... Blather follows:

everything realized

Well it's like he must have read what I wrote and then said exactly what he needed to say to make sure I left permanently. As for my sex life now, it's no-no-nothing. I tried to find a "buddy" but frankly no one gets how to do that... he wanted more. I couldn't give it. Suddenly then he turned it all around like I'm some sort of psycho. I really hate that guy thing... it's like they take lessons. They somehow manage to make you think you're crazy. Yeah... you don't know Jason Watkins. I've been there, bought my own damned t-shirt and one for his lover, her children and husband. Blah blah blah. You can soooo not manipulate me, I'm immune to your little asshole tricks! The only action I get is a hug every week from a dude that works in our radio shop. I need a new life.

okay it's been a month. He hasn't hardly touched me in almost a month. This is what I worried about. Why is it that when you don't think sex is the most important thing it suddenly becomes NOTHING. I feel so fat and unattractive. I've mentioned it before... I've talked about what I need, asked for what I want. It changes for two days and then NOthing. Why is it always like this? Why does this happen? I'm so annoyed.